Ceremony
Guests are ushered to pews or chairs.
-USHERS
An usher offers his right arm to a female guest when escorting
her to a seat.
If there is an imbalance in invitees (more from one family than
another), it is proper to "even out" seating instead of
insisting that all bride's guests go on one side and groom's guests
on the other. Also many times guests are friends of the couple and
could easily fit in on either side of the facility.
-SEATING OF FAMILY MEMBERS
Parents, grandparents, and siblings usually sit in the first
row.
If parents are divorced and both will be attending, the mother (and
husband) might sit in the first row and the father (and wife) in
the second row.
Other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) sit behind
immediate family.
Prepare a chart for special seating and make sure that the ushers
have it prior to the ceremony so that people will be escorted to
their proper seats.
Wedding music [the prelude] is played.
Grandparents are ushered down the aisle just before the main part
of the processional begins.
Parents of the bride & groom are ushered down the aisle. (or
parents may be part of the processional as each set walks down the
aisle, one with their daughter, the bride, between them, and the
other with their son, the groom)
After a pause, the music selected for the processional begins.
The officiant enters.
Attendants take their turns in the processional: bridesmaids and
groomsmen first (usually arranged according to height), honor attendants
last so they are close to the bride and groom and officiant. Flower
girl(s) and ring bearer(s) immediately precede the bride.
The bride walks down the aisle, accompanied by her father or between
her father and mother.
For a civil or non-religious ceremony, you can choose to have your attendants (and yourselves!) enter and leave the ceremony in any order you like. And for an interfaith ceremony, you might choose whichever style makes you the most comfortable!
In Protestant ceremonies, the groomsmen generally enter the church from the rear and wait at the altar with the groom. The bridesmaids then walk down the aisle one at a time, with the maid of honor last; then the ring bearer and flower girl enter (if child attendants are part of the ceremony). The bride then enters with her father or other close male relative. If the ceremony is taking place outside of a church, or if for any other reason the groomsmen cannot enter from the rear, a popular option is for the groom to begin the processional by walking his mother to her seat and then taking his place at the altar, followed by each groomsman accompanying a bridesmaid down the aisle.
Catholic ceremonies have a different processional order,
which is as follows:
The priest, groom, and best man wait at the altar
Groomsmen then enter from the side of accompany the bridesmaids
Bridesmaids enter, starting with the maid who will stand farthest
from the bride
Ring bearer and flower girl enter, and may be seated with their
parents once they reach the altar
The bride enters, accompanied by her father or other close male
relative.
In Jewish ceremonies, the rabbi (and cantor, if applicable) leads the procession, then the groomsmen walk down the aisle one at a time, followed by the groom who is accompanied by both of his parents. The bridesmaids follow one at a time, and are followed by the bride who is accompanied by both of her parents.
Wedding vows are exchanged according to the customs of the couple
and the officiant.
Rings are exchanged, or the groom gives the bride a ring.
Special wedding prayers, readings, music, or songs are part of the
ceremony, with family members of friends participating.
Accompanied by recessional music, the newly married couple walks
back down the aisle followed by attendants and family members.
For the recessional in all denominations, the wedding party exits in the reverse order from which they entered, with the bridesmaids and groomsmen walking in pairs. In Christian weddings, the bride and groom lead the recessional, followed by the flower girl and ring bearer, the honor attendants, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen. In Jewish weddings, the bride and groom are followed by the bride's parents, the groom's parents, the honor attendants, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the rabbi and cantor.
A receiving line is held as guests leave the ceremony site.
Form the line outside the doors at the ceremony site, or near the
entrance to the reception (in the lobby, by the ballroom doors,
or at the entrance to the cocktail area).
The Receiving Line
A receiving line is a wonderful way to make sure that you and your groom are able to greet each of your guests, particularly if you have a large number of attendees.
The traditional order for the receiving line is as follows: Bride's parents, the bride and groom, and the groom's parents. Honor attendants, if you wish to include them, stand next to the groom's parents.
Use this opportunity to introduce your parents or your new husband to any guests they may not know. Thank each guest for coming but keep the conversations short so as not to hold up the line. You can spend more time talking with guests when you visit each table at the reception.
If your parents are divorced it is generally best not
to place them next to each other. This is not only to prevent any
awkwardness between the parents (although that is certainly important),
but also to prevent any confusion for your guests. By separating
the divorced parents, guests will know that they are not still married
to each other. Consider placing each parent on either side of you
and your groom.
Traditional Reception
A receiving line is held at the beginning of the reception,
if not at the ceremony site.
The wedding couple is introduced at the reception by the bandleader
or master of ceremonies as, for example, "Mr. And Mrs. John
Smith," or "Debra and John Smith," or "Debra
Jones and John Smith."
The bride and groom take a few minutes to visit each
table. Remember your guests have
gone out of their way to be part of your special day, and part of
being good hosts is going out of your way to visit with your guests.
Wedding toasts are offered, beginning with one given by the best
man, then the bride's father, then family and friends (or friends
and family since the order is seldom organized), and possibly the
bride and bridegroom toast each other.
Wedding food is served.
The wedding couple's first dance takes place. The second dance:
the bride with her father; then, the groom with his mother-in-law,
and the bride’s father with the groom’s mother. Then
guests join in.
The bride and groom cut the wedding cake, his hand over hers, cut
the first slice of wedding cake. She takes the first bite, and then
feeds him the second, after they have fed each other the first slice,
it is removed to the kitchen to be cut and served to guests.
The groom removes the bride's garter and tosses it over his shoulder
to all unmarried men. (The bachelor who catches it may then put
it on the leg of the woman who caught the bride’s bouquet.)
The bride tosses her bouquet to single women attendants
and guests.
The bride and groom change into their going-away clothes (if they're
going on their honeymoon from the wedding).
Rice, birdseed or flower petals are tossed as the couple leaves
for their honeymoon.